Reading from Thursday, April 15

OK, so I didn't finish last night's post, and I'm extremely tired right now, so we'll see how much I can actually get through. Tomorrow Jilly is at a bachelorette party all day, so hopefully between chores and working, I'll be able to finally catch up on this thing.

Reading for April 15 - Tax Day Special
Joshua 11:1-12:24

Man oh man. I really can't get away from this slaughter. This section of the Bible just illustrates the Israelites as a nation of savage warriors who have no morality or sympathy for anything or anyone. Even the writing - there isn't the slightest tinge of regret or sadness about killing hundreds of thousands, if not, millions of people. In Genesis, when God flooded the earth and killed everyone there was a tangible feeling of remorse about his decision. Now it just seems like God is playing Risk with humanity, and God is totally winning. Where is his regret about his lost creation? Where is the humanity that once made me feel like I could somewhat relate to God and what he is going through?

So the text in these two chapters is exclusively Joshua and the Israeli army ruthlessly killing nation after nation. Chapter 12 is actually just a list of kings that he and his army had killed. Like it's some sort of competition. Does God have kings stuffed and mounted on his cloud walls? Do him and Satan trade huntin' stories?

All kidding aside, God's 'humanity' seems to have been completely drained from him. It doesn't even say what the victims of his rage were guilty of - if anything.

So again, I'm not gonna get upset about this, but I really hate reading stuff like this...

Luke 17:11-37

 ²⁰Once, having been asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, "The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, ²¹nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the kingdom of God is within^[b] you."

This is interesting - I don't think I've ever seen The Kingdom of God represented this way. I always thought of the Kingdom of God as when Jesus returns to earth and rules over the earth for all eternity. But here, Jesus says that it is within you. So what does that mean for me as a Christian? 

I think it means that I have the potential to bring the Kingdom of God to earth through my behavior and through my actions. Basically - if I follow everything Jesus says to do, I can bring the Kingdom. And I don't mean just me, but Christians as a whole.

Psalm 84:1-12
 ¹¹ For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
       the LORD bestows favor and honor;
       no good thing does he withhold
       from those whose walk is blameless.

Here's a great example of something that could easily be taken out of context. There are many interpretations of God's chatacter, and one popular one, especially among televangelists, is that God wants you to be rich and if you give your life to him, everything will be great. And that's just not true.

However, if you read the first three lines of this verse, you would think, "Yeah, God sole responsibility is to give me nice things." But that last line is key - "from those whose walk is blameless". And as we all know - no one is blameless, except Jesus, and Jesus certainly did not have a life that most people would consider desirable, and yet he is the salvation of humanity. His awful, painful death was actually the single greatest action of all time. It kind of puts these things in a different perspective.

Proverbs 13:5-6
 ⁵ The righteous hate what is false,
       but the wicked bring shame and disgrace.
 ⁶ Righteousness guards the man of integrity,
       but wickedness overthrows the sinner.

Cool. Catch up tomorrow. Goodnight. 

 

Reading from Wednesday April 14 UPATED April 17

Hey. So I just got back from recording my first podcast. And by "recording my first podcast" I mean "told a story on someone else's podcast. " Nonetheless I had a great time. I am beat though so let's hit the book.

Reading for April 14
Joshua 9:3-10:43

⁴⁰ So Joshua subdued the whole region, including the hill country, the Negev, the western foothills and the mountain slopes, together with all their kings. He left no survivors. He totally destroyed all who breathed, just as the LORD, the God of Israel, had commanded.

This is a summary of this whole, huge section. Joshua led Israel through about five or six more genocides. Killing probably millions in the process.  suppose freaking out over one single genocide was silly - I have a feeling there's gonna be many many more based on how it his progressing.

Luke 16:19-17:10
OK - there is an intense story here. It's extremely confusing so stick with me...

There is a rich man and a man named Lazarus. Lazarus sat outside the gate of the rich man's home. Lazarus was covered in sores but he wished he could eat at the rich man's table. Eventually both of these guys died. Lazarus goes to heaven and the rich man goes to hell. Interesting note here: it says  

²²"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side."

Not really what I usually think about when I think about heaven, but its integral to the story. The rich man can see Lazarus and Abraham from where he is and he asks Abraham to let Lazarus help him. Here's how Abraham replies:

'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. ²⁶And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

So, realizing his situations is hopeless, the rich man asks that Lazarus be sent to his father's house to warn the rich man's family about what will happen to them if they die. Here's how it plays out:

 ²⁹"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'
 ³⁰" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'
 ³¹"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "

So here - in clear language - Jesus is doing two things: he is spelling out that belief in him is the only way into heaven, and he is hinting at the fact that he will raise from the dead, and even then it will be difficult for some to believe. However, he does all this in such an eloquent way. He uses this fictional parable about a man coming back from the dead to save a few people to illustrate that he, himself will do the same for the entirety of mankind.

In that last line there, he even goes so far as to predict the reaction that many will have to his resurrection. If they aren't convinced by what they see already, even someone raising from the dead will not convince them.

The other thing I think that needs to be addressed here is that Lazarus is actually documented in the other gospels as someone who Jesus raised from the dead. While I was reading this story here in Luke, I kept thinking if this is what happened while Lazarus was dead - like a rare insight into the afterlife. And if that's the case, what's the deal with Abraham being the God-figure? Was that just used as an illustration to make it easier for the people to grasp the idea of God? Like how in "Contact" the alien appeared as Jodie Foster's father.

Either way, there is immense amount of depth to this story - does anyone have any more insight into this? I'm so interested in this....


Psalm 83:1-18

 ² See how your enemies are astir,
       how your foes rear their heads. 

 ³ With cunning they conspire against your people;
       they plot against those you cherish.
 ⁴ "Come," they say, "let us destroy them as a nation,
       that the name of Israel be remembered no more."
[...]

⁹ Do to them as you did to Midian,
       as you did to Sisera and Jabin at the river Kishon,
 ¹⁰ who perished at Endor
       and became like refuse on the ground.
 ¹¹ Make their nobles like Oreb and Zeeb,
       all their princes like Zebah and Zalmunna,
 ¹² who said, "Let us take possession
       of the pasturelands of God."

Oh man...don't go there. Asaph is praising what happened at Midian and forward throughout the reign of Joshua and his terrible massacres of the surrounding people.

I've been thinking about this immense issue of God's justice and how it's actually extremely unjust and just downright awful. A big question that has risen is "If God is all knowing, why would he create the earth and everyone in it, knowing he would have his "chosen people" wiping out other nations." And now that I think about it - I don't think it says anywhere that God is all knowing. A common verse people like to quote is Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."

That is so often misinterpreted as "God knows all things and he will be giving me good things". But look at the operative word in that verse - plans. I could have plans to go skiing, but those plans could fall through. I could break my leg and would be unable to go.

Because think about it - if God is all knowing, why would he have started the whole thing in the first place? He would have known that Adam and Eve would screw up and his creation would be ruined. Remember the intense regret the Bible describes God having over humanity's error? If he knew it was going to happen, why would be be regretful?

My point is - I don't think God is all knowing. I think he knows what his ideal life for us is, and if we follow his commands, we will be walking in his "predicted future". But, if we stray from those plans at all, all bets are off.

Now - this also calls into question the perfect nature of God. Is is wrong to think that God made mistakes? What if God was so pissed off about his lost and damned creation that he just raged out and ordered the destruction of everyone he saw without thinking. I mean I know we're raised to believe that God is in all ways perfect, but then wouldn't his creations be perfect as well? If I was perfect and I wanted to make a model airplane, I would make sure that it was perfect.

But God chose to give man free will, because he didn't want us to be forced into loving him. But then, think about that, too. The people that are being massacred really don't have free will. It's either, believe in this God, or be brutally murdered.

I feel like I'm caught in this cosmic battle. The New Testament is so hopeful and inspiring and makes me proud of my faith, while the Old Testament makes me ashamed of my God. I am having two completely opposite reactions to each book. It's a weird place to be...


Proverbs 13:4
 ⁴ The sluggard craves and gets nothing,
       but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied.

There it is.

Reading from Tuesday, April 13

Hey o. So I think I unloaded enough thoughts today in the two "Thinking" blog posts. So let's just go right to the bible.

Reading for April 13
Joshua 7:16-9:2
Well, this isn't getting any easier to read. The section opens with an inquisition as to who stole plunder from the fallen city of Jericho after they were specifically instructed no to by God. It turns out that a guy named Achan took the gold and silver. He admitted it, showed the Israelites where it was and gave it back. But because his actions were direct disobedience to God, he had to be killed. The Israelites brough Achan out to a field and the entire nation of Israel stoned him to death for bringing God's horrible wrath upon them. It says that once Achan was killed, God's anger subsided.

That's just so backwards to me...

The second section here talks about, what do you know, another Genocide. Who's keeping score here? How many war crimes and crimes against humanity is that so far? 7? 10?

God commands Joshua to lead a particularly tricky militaristic strike against the nation of Ai. He causes a distraction with one group of soldiers which causes all of the Ai soldiers to chase them. The second group then sets fire to the city, kills all the remaining people in the city, and then finally kills the soldiers. Another race of people wiped off the face of the earth.

Ugh...it's not worth getting upset over at this point.

Luke 16:1-18
¹⁰"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. "

So I tried to do a pretty scummy thing a few days ago. Last weekend at the bachelor party, the external flash for my camera was dropped and broke, which I was really bummed about because Jilly got it for me for Christmas. So I devised a little plan. I decided I was going to email the company that sold it and tell them that it was a very late Christmas gift and when I opened it, it was smashed.

As I was writing the email to the company Jill asked what I was doing. I told her. She said "Isn't that extremely dishonest?" "...Yes" I replied and closed and deleted the email. I felt like a butthole, and I think this verse from Jesus is very poignant. If I had successfully pulled off the "flash swap", I would have had a taste for getting what I wanted through deceit and that could have led to a dark place. Anyway, I love my wife for convicting me to do the right thing.

Psalm 82:1-8
 ⁸ Rise up, O God, judge the earth,
       for all the nations are your inheritance.

Boom. All the nations. It says to judge the earth, and judge it he did. His reaction was to send his son to be brutally beaten is mutilated for our salvation. Yes.

Proverbs 13:2-3


 ² From the fruit of his lips a man enjoys good things,
       but the unfaithful have a craving for violence.
 ³ He who guards his lips guards his life,
       but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

Hey, I'm feeling better. If you happened to pray for me, thanks. I know I needed it. 

Thinking Again...

So every night when I'm done with my reading, I post a status update to facebook to let everyone know that the new post is up. Last night, after reading about the genocide at Jericho I posted this:

"Who would have thought that reading the Bible every day would hurt my faith?"

My friend from work responded:

Reading the bible made me an atheist... It shouldn't be about 'faith' which is a euphemism for believing in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I wish more 'believers' would be like you and take more than 5 minutes out of their lifetimes to actually ask the difficult questions about what they have been brought up to believe and have ... See More probably never analyzed it in an objective way. As the old saying goes: faith is believing what you know ain't so...the more you question, the more the true answers will reveal themselves....a thought that I live by: don't question the answers, question the questioner. The quickest route to enlightenment. Follow that path and you will understand the bible for what it really is....

He has some great points.  And to be honest, there were times when I imagined that at the end of this project, I would end up with no faith left at all and indeed, become an atheist, or at least agnostic. I imagined that this blog would turn into a book called

"Faith Lost: How Reading the Bible Every Day Turned Me Into an Atheist"

Let me take his points one at a time.

1) When he said "Reading the Bible turned me into an Atheist" I was hit with a sense of dread that the same thing would happen to me. But then I thought,

"How could reading something which is designed to convince you - without a doubt - of the existence of God and the sacrifice of Jesus, convince you of the opposite?"

Indeed there have been many times, just in these three and a half months, that I have been on the brink of giving up on my faith altogether - as a direct result of reading the Bible. Last night was one of those times. My conclusion was this:

"If I am reading something designed to give me faith in God, and it is having the opposite effect, I am obviously not understanding it properly"

2) "Faith is believing in what you know ain't so"

I disagree with this definition. My definition of faith is believing in something that you can't emphatically prove exists. We can have faith that a loved one will pull through a serious illness. We can have faith that our children will grow up to be wonderful people. And we can have faith that if we work hard enough, we will be rewarded for our efforts.

I'm sure everyone has gone through at least one of these scenarios. And you can't say that you know its false that your kid will grow up to be awesome. You know its a distinct possibility and your belief in that exists as a strong desire within you. However, you can't prove that it will actually happen but you have faith that it will.

In the same way, I can't prove God exists. I can't. No one can. But based on my personal experiences, the way the world is structured, and the way my life has come together, I have faith that he is truly there.

3) "The more you question, the more the true answers will reveal themselves"

I couldn't agree with this more, but I think we are seeing it from opposing ends. I think coming across these tough questions and problems with my faith have been extremely enlightening to the overall story of Christianity. When I reach a conclusion that puts opposing facts together to reveal a new, beautiful fact about God it gives me a new sense of hope and strength in my faith.

As many times as I have hit something that makes me want to give up, I have had just as many experiences that reignite my faith and send a new understanding soaring into my heart. And that is what gives me the faith that I am following the right path for my life.

 

Thinking...

Ugh...let me do some back pedaling from my freak out last night. I got a comment from a friend who made me realize some things and got me thinking about this second God-sanctioned genocide in a different light.

So far, just off the top of my head, I can think of maybe five or six genocides that have occurred so far. That includes the "Earthicide" that happened during Noah's flood - that being, God killing every living thing on Earth. I would assume that since Noah and his family were they only ones saved, that means that random children and elderly people were also killed in the flood, not just the mass of evil people.

And yet I've never met anyone who had any sort of negative reaction to this story. Why? God killed everyone on the Earth, not just a single race of people. I think because in stories like the Midianites and the people of Jericho, the people are brutally murdered by people, in Noah's flood, people die because of a force of nature. There is a disconnect between God murdering people and people murdering people. When we hear that a person kills someone else for personal gain - which is what the Israelites did - we have a gut reaction of "that's wrong", "that's horrible", "the murderer must be punished" and so on.

But when things like a flood - or to put it in modern terms - Hurricane Katrina happens, we have no one to blame except God, and most people don't know how to react to that. You can't put God on trial, you can't accuse him of murder - but when a huge group of people are killed by what is legally referred to as an "Act of God" how are we supposed to react to him?

--- --- ---

So my friend, Pete said this in reaction to my last post:

If you can accept the Midianites, I don't see how Jericho would be a problem. Personally, I wonder what God would have to do to become unacceptable. 5 genocides, 500 genocides?

That's true. If I had come up with a justification of the Midianites slaughter, why would another genocide that occurred the same way make me change my mind?

I need to accept that there are some terrible things that happened in the Old Testament before God's grace could be poured out on humanity in the form of Jesus. As I've noticed and written about before, Jesus' teachings are often in direct contradiction to the laws of the Old Testament. I also need to remember that I'm a Christian, not a Jew and that my faith is based on the teachings of Jesus, not the teachings of Moses or the God of the Old Testament.

So while the majority of the laws of the Old Testament can be dismissed because of Jesus' sacrifice, it doesn't make the Old Testament any less important. If we didn't have the stories of history of the Old Testament, Christ's sacrifice would mean nothing. He would have died for people that did not need saving. The wedge between God and humanity that was created by Adam and Eve, and the inability of God to coexist with man forced God to pour out this unbelievable wrath on everyone.

Humanity was tied down by this massive burden of being born into a sinful nature, and Jesus took that burden away so we could be free.

Reading from Monday, April 12

Hey now. How's it goin there? Work has finally slowed down to a pace where I'm not drowning in my own tears, which is excellent, and now I'm about to watch me a little LOST. Oh yeah.

Reading for April 12
Joshua 5:1-7:15
Man...just when I'm starting to get over the Midianites, here comes the story of Jericho. So before I start freaking out - let me quickly summarize the story.

Joshua is visited by an angel of God who tells him the way to break down the walls surrounding the city of Jericho, which is part of the promised land. He tells Joshua to have all the Israelites march around the city for six days, once each day. Then on the seventh day, he is told to have everyone march around the city seven times while the priests are blowing trumpets. When they finish the seventh lap, they priests are to sound a loud blast on the trumpets, everyone is supposed to yell and the walls will fall. Well, that's exactly what happens. Bit by bit, the Israelites follow these instructions and the walls of Jericho collapse.

You know, this is difficult to say because of what happens next, but I think God was having fun here. He could have easily had the Israelites doing something cooler than marching around a city blowing trumpets. He could have had them waving swords around and making sweet, super intimidating dragon robots that could tear down the wall. But God instead had them do something totally weird and out of the ordinary to show their obedience to him.

So after the walls fall, the Israelites are ready to take over the city, but instead of just rousting the people from their homes, God commands them to kill everything. Men, women, children, elderly people, animals, plants - everything. Why the hell does he have to kill children?! Because they weren't worshiping him?! Unacceptable. Absolutely unacceptable.


Here's what its like: A father promises his son that he will have a turn on the best swing at the park that day. But when they get there, there's another kid already on the swing. So the father tells his son to go over and push the other kid off the swing, and then kick him in the mouth after he falls. Then while the kid is bleeding and crying, take the toys he brought with him and break them in half. Then piss all over them and the kid. Then get on the swing and enjoy.

But if his son disobeys his father, then the father gets to kick his son in the mouth. WHAT KIND OF FATHER IS THAT?! A terrible one! Right?? What is that teaching his son? "You can have whatever you want as long as you're obeying me, and you should claim what I promised you through brutal violence"? NO! I can't get behind that!

Luke 15:1-32
Hm. I used the father analogy to express my anger about what happened in Jericho - only to see the parable of the prodigal son here in Luke. Here's a brief summary of that story:

There was a father with two sons. One of them decided he had enough of his life and asked his father for what would be his inheritance, basically saying 'you're dead to me'. He leaves and realizes that life isn't so great away from his father's house. So he comes home expecting his father to hate him, but instead he rushes out to greet him and throws a huge party because he has returned.

So we should feel that when we turn to God, or turn back to him after a long time, that he welcomes us with open arms.


I need to remember that God's character changes after Jesus' sacrifice...but I still can't get over a genocide...

Plus the fact that it would be very easy to discount the existence of God through these early history stories of the Israelites. They were a growing, fledgling nation of people and were trying to conquer new territory. They were mad with a thirst for power and decided to destroy everything in their way, and made up a God to justify their actions.

As I finished typing that last sentence, a big empty ball of nothingness hit me in the gut. What am I supposed to do with this anger?

Psalm 81:1-16
¹⁵ Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him,
       and their punishment would last forever.
 ¹⁶ But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;
       with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

Oh, so because one of my good friends is Hindu, and was raised Hindu, and his peaceful religion does not include my God, his punishment will last forever. But because I believe in this specific God, I will get honey from a rock. Wow. I am so much better than everyone else. 

Proverbs 13:1
 ¹ A wise son heeds his father's instruction,
       but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.

Whatever.

Reading from Sunday, April 11

Hey brahs. Tonight, Jilly and I worked on some cover songs for her 80s cover band. One of the songs we worked on was "Lose Your Love Tonight" by The Outfield. It's a really fun song, but I couldn't resist doing my own parody. Get a load of this:

"You just bought these gloves at a fancy store, and I know they're really special. I'm afraid I'll lose them on the dance floor, then try to find them when you're not looking. I don't want to lose your gloves tonight, but I'd like to use your gloves tonight."

Oh yeah. That's copyrighted material there, baby. Don't even try to steal it. Weird Al, I'm looking in your direction.

Reading for April 11
Joshua 3:1-4:24
Alright. Interesting story here. God asks for twelve men, one from each tribe to follow the priests who are carrying the ark of the covenant. These twelve men follow the ark all the way to the Jordan river - the same Jordan river that stood between the Israelites and the promised land. Now when the twelve men reached the edge of the river, the water dried up - the same way it had in the Red Sea.

Now to commemorate this miracle, Joshua instructs these twelve men to each pick up one stone from the river bed. They do so and as soon as they stepped out of the river bed, the waters rushed back to their normal flow. These twelve men brought these twelve stones with them to a city called Gilgal, and it sounds like these stones were still there at the time this book was written.

I looked up these stones and it looks like some scholars believe that Joshua made this story up to explain why there were twelve stones sitting in a circle in the city of Gilgal. It would be like me writing a story about how God made me pick up 18 stones from England and make stonehenge. But then again - these stones had to  come from somewhere. A bunch of dudes grabbing them from a river isn't the most far fetched idea there could be. A bunch of lollypops breeding within these stones and starting a global pyramid scheme to bring down the imitation sweetner industry would be the most far fetched idea there could be.

Something else that I picked up on that I want to mention before I forget. Joshua refers to God in a unique way in this chapter. He calls him "The Lord of all the Earth" - which isn't at all an outside of the norm description of God, but Joshua goes out of his way to make sure we see that. He calls God by this name several times in this section. Could this have been Joshua trying to persuede God into loving all of humanity, and not just this group of people.

Luke 14:7-35
Uh oh...getting sleepy.


There's some great stuff in here. The first section talks about attending a banquet, although I think Jesus is also speaking in the parable form here too. He instructs the people around him to take the seat of lowest importance when attending a banquet, then they will be honored when the host asks them to move to a higher seat. But if they take the seat of highest importance, then they will be asked to move to a seat of lower importance and then be totally embarassed in front of everyone. Obviously God is the host of the party, and if we make an attempt to glorify ourselves, we will be humbled. Likewise, if we attempt to humble ourselves, we will be glorified.

As an addendum to that, Jesus adds:

"When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. ¹³But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, ¹⁴and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

That's such a neat idea. Cooking dinner and inviting the poor and needy instead of your friends. I don't know if Jilly and I have the courage to do that. If you do, please let me know and that will encourage me to do it. I can't think of a better thing to do with my time or money...I'm gonna add that to my goals.

Then Jesus talks about the cost of being a disciple. He opens with a very controvercial statement:

²⁶"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. ²⁷And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

So all disciples of Christ are wife beating, child neglecting losers? I don't think so. I don't think he means literally 'hate your children', but rather, if a man's wife and children are higher on his list of importance than Christ, that man cannot be a disciple. As of now, there are too many things that I love that are preventing me from being a disciple, and I'm not ready to give these things up, possibly ever. Though, I think there's a difference between being a disciple and being a Christian. I would love to be a disciple of Christ, but I feel like I'm a perfectly adequate Christian. And by perfectly adequate, I mean sinful failure like the rest of us. 


Psalm 80:1-19
Nothing really stands out in this one...

Proverbs 12:27-28
 ²⁸ In the way of righteousness there is life;
       along that path is immortality.

Goodnight, babies.