Thinking Again...

So every night when I'm done with my reading, I post a status update to facebook to let everyone know that the new post is up. Last night, after reading about the genocide at Jericho I posted this:

"Who would have thought that reading the Bible every day would hurt my faith?"

My friend from work responded:

Reading the bible made me an atheist... It shouldn't be about 'faith' which is a euphemism for believing in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I wish more 'believers' would be like you and take more than 5 minutes out of their lifetimes to actually ask the difficult questions about what they have been brought up to believe and have ... See More probably never analyzed it in an objective way. As the old saying goes: faith is believing what you know ain't so...the more you question, the more the true answers will reveal themselves....a thought that I live by: don't question the answers, question the questioner. The quickest route to enlightenment. Follow that path and you will understand the bible for what it really is....

He has some great points.  And to be honest, there were times when I imagined that at the end of this project, I would end up with no faith left at all and indeed, become an atheist, or at least agnostic. I imagined that this blog would turn into a book called

"Faith Lost: How Reading the Bible Every Day Turned Me Into an Atheist"

Let me take his points one at a time.

1) When he said "Reading the Bible turned me into an Atheist" I was hit with a sense of dread that the same thing would happen to me. But then I thought,

"How could reading something which is designed to convince you - without a doubt - of the existence of God and the sacrifice of Jesus, convince you of the opposite?"

Indeed there have been many times, just in these three and a half months, that I have been on the brink of giving up on my faith altogether - as a direct result of reading the Bible. Last night was one of those times. My conclusion was this:

"If I am reading something designed to give me faith in God, and it is having the opposite effect, I am obviously not understanding it properly"

2) "Faith is believing in what you know ain't so"

I disagree with this definition. My definition of faith is believing in something that you can't emphatically prove exists. We can have faith that a loved one will pull through a serious illness. We can have faith that our children will grow up to be wonderful people. And we can have faith that if we work hard enough, we will be rewarded for our efforts.

I'm sure everyone has gone through at least one of these scenarios. And you can't say that you know its false that your kid will grow up to be awesome. You know its a distinct possibility and your belief in that exists as a strong desire within you. However, you can't prove that it will actually happen but you have faith that it will.

In the same way, I can't prove God exists. I can't. No one can. But based on my personal experiences, the way the world is structured, and the way my life has come together, I have faith that he is truly there.

3) "The more you question, the more the true answers will reveal themselves"

I couldn't agree with this more, but I think we are seeing it from opposing ends. I think coming across these tough questions and problems with my faith have been extremely enlightening to the overall story of Christianity. When I reach a conclusion that puts opposing facts together to reveal a new, beautiful fact about God it gives me a new sense of hope and strength in my faith.

As many times as I have hit something that makes me want to give up, I have had just as many experiences that reignite my faith and send a new understanding soaring into my heart. And that is what gives me the faith that I am following the right path for my life.