Reading from Wednesday, July 7

Aw snap yo. Aw snippy snappy.

Reading for July 7
1 Chronicles 4:5-5:17
Within this reading we see the beginnings of the genealogies of the twelve tribes, but we also see something that was a bit of a Christian pop-culture phenomenon in the early 00s: The Prayer of Jabez. So here's what it is - a small prayer buried within this list of names from this guy named Jabez. Here is the passage:

⁹ Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." ¹⁰ Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

So some guy all of a sudden discovered this - probably the first non scholar to actually look through Chronicles - and decided to write a little book about it. It was one of those little gifty type books that you would buy for your mom for mother's day or something like that.

Well this thing became so popular in the Christian sub-culture that it turned into that scene from Spaceballs. There was Prayer of Jabez everything. CDs, plaques, books about the book, framed art, gift sets, T Shirts, hats...freaking everything! I was working at a Christian bookstore at the time so I was on the front lines of all this crap that came through the doors, exploiting and capitalizing on this tiny little prayer. Then the most egregious offense came through the door - The Prayer of Jabez pillow. The marketing machine took it so far that there was a pillow with this little prayer embroidered onto it. That's when I decided it had gotten ridiculous. OH! And how about this??! A $216 14K Gold Bible pendant with the Prayer of Jabez inscribed on the inside. What a great Christian the people who buy that must be!!!

Allow me to comment on this thing as a whole for a moment. There were so many awful things that I saw come through the loading dock of that store - I am now convinced that things like that is exactly what forced Jesus to flip over the money changers tables in the Temple. I have nothing against Christian Living books or Large Print Bibles, or even artwork portraying Jesus. I don't even mind that corny "Footprints in the Sand" thing. Everyone had their own ways of reminding themselves of their faith, but when things like the Prayer of Jabez Pillow or a $300 WWJD ring come through the door, that's when I put up a red flag. The thing that pissed me off the most were these Bibles that were disguised as a teeny bopper fashion magazine. Throughout the text of this "Bible", there were pictures of perfectly thin and beautifully airbrushed girls smiling and "worshiping God." And then there were little side-bar articles about "What Real Guys Want..." with things like "Guys don't want girls who drink or curse. They want a woman of the LORD!" Ugh. To me there's nothing wrong with trying to keep teenagers away from alcohol, but to put dating advice in an actual Bible actually made me throw it on the ground in disgust. I threw a Bible on the ground because I was disgusted with it. Think about that. OK Rant off.

Now, back to this prayer. I never actually read the little Prayer of Jabez book, but just looking at the prayer itself doesn't instill a whole lot of confidence in the overall message of the book. This prayer channels what my friend Christian calls the "Cosmic Vending Machine God." This is the view that God's sole purpose is to answer prayers and give things to people. Look at it. "Enlarge my territory?" "Keep me from harm?" What a selfish prayer. Now I'm not saying that Jabez was wrong for asking for these things, but take it within context. Its things like this, when isolated, that fuel televangelists wholly incorrect message of "God only wants you to be happy and have a Ferrari." Or, the frequent victim of my spite, Peter Popoff's message of "God wants to immediately heal your afflictions." Again, I'm not saying God is incapable of healing people, but in some cases, someone's illness is part of a greater plan. How many times have you gone through something difficult that has made you a better or stronger person? "Consider it pure joy brothers when you face trials of many kinds."

Boom. Bible'd.

Acts 25:1-27
Paul's legal limbo continues.

After Felix had stepped down as the governor of the area and left Paul in prison, Festus took over and wanted to review why Paul was there. He brought out Paul and the Jews who accused him of whatever they were accusing him of, and waited to hear the charges. Again they brought false charges that could not be proved and they begged Festus to bring him back to Jerusalem to have him tried because they had set a trap where they would ambush and kill Paul as soon as he arrived in Jerusalem.

Festus refused and instead granted Paul's request of an appeal to Caesar. He, like Felix, saw no reason for Paul's guilt. He has a conversation with King Agrippa that is really cool:

"There is a man here whom Felix left as a prisoner. ¹⁵When I went to Jerusalem, the chief priests and elders of the Jews brought charges against him and asked that he be condemned.  ¹⁶"I told them that it is not the Roman custom to hand over any man before he has faced his accusers and has had an opportunity to defend himself against their charges. ¹⁷When they came here with me, I did not delay the case, but convened the court the next day and ordered the man to be brought in. ¹⁸When his accusers got up to speak, they did not charge him with any of the crimes I had expected. ¹⁹Instead, they had some points of dispute with him about their own religion and about a dead man named Jesus who Paul claimed was alive.

I like this conversation. It's sort of like overhearing a private, government conversation. It's also interesting to read an outsiders perspective of the Jesus story. It's also interesting to see Jesus referred to as "a dead man".

This section ends with Agrippa awaiting to hear Paul's appeal.

Psalm 5:1-12
This is sort of the antithesis of the Prayer of Jabez

¹¹ But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
       let them ever sing for joy.
       Spread your protection over them,
       that those who love your name may rejoice in you.

Instead of "things" or "territory", David here asks only for joy and gladness within God's mercy. 

Proverbs 18:19
 ¹⁹ An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city,
       and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.

If you offend someone, you can expect them to be stubborn about forgiveness.