January 14

It's been a rough day. The more and more I hear about the victims of the Earthquake in Haiti, the less mental ammunition I have to defend my faith. Then you have guys like Pat Robertson saying that the naiton is doomed because they made a deal with the Devil, when all the stories I've read, heard and seen have been about how much the faith of the Haitians has INCREASED. I think I heard that the nation is something like 70% Catholic...so who knows. But, you can't sit there and honestly say that the children who had their skulls crushed in by falling debris or the mothers who died holding babies in their arms was an act of vengeance from a God I view (or viewed) as loving and merciful.

But what if Pat Robertson is right? I mean what he said disgusts me, but what if he is accurately portraying the Christian faith? Scary thought. OK, on to the reading:


Reading for January 14

Genesis 30:1-31:16
Jacob's new wives have a lot of kids here, further fulfilling God's promise to Abraham for a big old family tree. They were both barren for a while so they both had Jacob sleep with their servants, an old family practice I guess.

Jacob whips out his third big deceitful act here. He asks to leave Laban's land and start his own family. Laban has liked having Jacob around so he asks him what he would like to be paid to continue to work for him. Jacob asks for all the livestock that has imperfections - stripes or spots. But Jacob does something to make all the offspring of the livestock come out spotted or striped, so he gets a huge portion of Laban's animals.

After that act of deceit and trickery, does God punish him? Does he bring an Earthquake on his land and kill all his kids? Nope. He says, "Hey, Jacob...Laban's pretty angry - you better get out of here." God protects Jacob, even though he was dishonorable and deceitful. NO RETRIBUTION AT ALL!

Matthew 10:1-23
Jesus sends out the twelve disciples here. He encourages them to go among all the cities of Israel and gives them some encouraging words for what they are meant to do as they go out. Jesus tells them to heal the sick and raise the dead. Even though I've read this passage numerous times, I guess I never realized: these ordinary dudes can perform miracles too. Does that mean I can perform miracles? Kinda weird.

Psalm 12:1-8
OK - this doesn't sound so bad...

⁵ "Because of the oppression of the weak
       and the groaning of the needy,
       I will now arise," says the LORD.
       "I will protect them from those who malign them."

But wasn't Haiti oppressed and needy? Even though the Earthquake has happened, why not provide a miracle now?

Proverbs 3:13-15
Trumping up the value of wisdom.

So, that didn't make things any easier. I remembered today how one of my early posts said that I was content, and that was a dangerous place for a Christian. Well, obviously, I am no longer content. But these burning questions and, I would say, anger towards God, only makes me more motivated to continue reading and searching for answers. Now I need to be careful not to look at everything with a pessimistic microscope. Only 5 days ago, I was worried that I would skew everything into the positive...

Dear God. This is honestly not easy. Less than a week of reading your word has challenged my faith more than anything I've ever experienced. I'm sorry for being angry with you, and maligning you in my interpretations of your word, but I am left without answers for another night, and that, I think, is understandably frustrating. 

I pray these things in Jesus' name, Amen.